继续崩溃

第二张考卷
很努力地把读过的
统统都吐出来
很尽力的写完
很尽力的圈完
不知道写的
是否老师能接受
不知道圈的
石否是正确的
希望
不要不及格 就好

根本无法专心读书
根本无法专心考试
两天了
这个战争
几时要结束

两天了
我无法不想
我无法控制
眼泪停了再流
枕头干了又湿
小毛巾洗干净了再洗

我该如何决定
我该如何选择
我不会
我不懂
我迷恍
我失去方向

我要你
却做不到你要的
我要你
却让你委屈了
我要你
却让你伤心了
我要你
却让你跟着我一起辛苦了

很难熬
我不知道我的方向
我不知道我要做什么
一静下来
眼泪又流了
枕头又湿了
小毛巾又肮脏了
打扫房间
整理厨房
是我这几天
麻醉自己的方式

这个挑战
这个考验
太大了
我撑了又撑
崩溃了
跟自己说
你也很辛苦
我不能这样就倒下
哭累了
跟自己说
明天就会没事的
还有你陪我

一切
好像一天比一天严重
看到你这样
我很心痛
却不想就这样放手
我无法想像
没有你的日子
我会怎样

我没有挽留
是吗

不是这样的
我很坚持
你看不出来吗
或许
挽留的方式
我不擅长
或许
挽留的话
我不会表达

我知道我们都辛苦
不管怎样
我会撑到最后

谢谢你陪着我
给我很多美好的昨天

我爱你




by bbw3n

彻底崩溃

4月28日
考试开始了
第一科

整晚不能入睡
起床时有点不舒服了

觉得奇怪
那么早打电话给我
会有什么事呢
结果
接了电话
我的心情烂透了

抱歉
给你麻烦了
可是
你也不需要这样质问吧

我不是犯人
你知不知道
我有多不喜欢你质问的方式
我有多不喜欢你所谓关心的方式

一整个早上
心情跌落谷底
从走去巴士站
上巴士
到学校
进考场
我都一直在想这件事
好不容易
我才让自己忍着眼泪
告诉自己不要想
让自己专心考试

回到家
累坏了
躺着
却睡不着
脑海里一直在想
闭着眼睛
可是
眼睛却是湿的
泪一直流
枕头都湿了
宝贝打来
我多努力的装作若无其事
我不想让宝贝担心

不懂几时
眼泪停了
不懂几时
我睡着了
不懂几时
枕头干了

起床
3点多
很努力的收拾心情
再来一通电话
这次
我无法控制我的眼泪
我无法收拾我的心情

什么要好好读书
感情事放一边
这些话
我从中学听到现在
偶尔坐在一起吃饭时
你要讲
聊起功课时
你再讲
就连我的生日
你送上的祝福
我觉得很温馨
祝福过后
你还是会加上这两句话

我不明白
为什么上了大学不能谈恋爱
我不明白
你所谓的恋爱会影响学业

我21岁了
长大了
上大学了
我知道我在做什么

有了爱情
我当然不会忘记我的本分
我知道
你注重学业
你关心学业
我更不可能会放弃我的学业

恋爱
真的会荒废学业
我不懂

我懂的是
有了他
我更努力读书

有了他
至少我有压力时
有人跟我一起分担

有了他
我希望有好的成绩
我希望有好的工作
我希望我和他
有美好的未来

我不喜欢你的过度关心
有时候
让我觉得
我好像被锁了
我快喘不过气

你说的话
为我好
我知道
可是
一字一句
好像命令

今天
我崩溃了
彻彻底底的崩溃了

想起一个好友曾经对我说的话
我以前还很自信的反驳她不可能
现在
我收回
想想
她说的
并没有不会发生

对不起
我知道我不应该
可是我没有其他办法
我选择继续隐瞒

宝贝
谢谢你
安慰我
陪我度过一切

接下来的日子
还是会很辛苦
或许
更加辛苦
不管怎样
我会坚持

谢谢你
坚持了
也要抱歉
委屈你了

我承认
很辛苦

可是
只要有你
再辛苦
我都会撑下去




by bbw3n

oh no...18++

another post again for today

2 posts per day
n the distance between 2 posts is juz a few hour
i seldom do that
unless thr is something "INTERESTING" happened to me
n it is right
i found something interesting
n it is "DISGUSTING"
it really surprise me
so i would like to share here

i was viewing blogs juz nw
while i m bored to look at the textbook
i click n read
click n read
i click into someone's blog
n read n read n read
suddenly
1 short post with some photo appear
and it make ME...

FEEL...

WANNA...

VOMIT...


it is about "SPECIAL" western foods in M'sia
and nw i would like to post some photo

and U

gt ready to look at the photo

take a deep breath

1
.
.
2
.
.
3
.
.

the first photo
if u juz simply scan through it
u wont realize what wrong with this photo

BUT

the second photo

OMG

1 word appear in my mind

CREATIVE

according to the blog owner
he found this in one of the forward mail
n the mail stated that
this is what called the
SPECIAL HOT DOG IN M'SIA
and it sell in 1 restaurant name
RESTAURANT LOK CHAT 67
which located at BUKIT BINTANG KL

for more information
plz search from GOOGLE

when i saw this
i suddenly think of one of my best friend
who is very like to eat
she like foods
and she oso like to make some CREATIVE to foods

yes
is u

i dunno why u suddenly appear in my mind
hahaha
mayb i too miss u
o mayb ur CREATIVE made me remember u forever
hahaha

n i m curious that

she still cn eat if these foods in front of her

and i m wondering
what will she response when she saw the pic
n oso this post

by the way
this is simply juz for sharing

n for her
it is juz a joke
hope u dun mind

the end
is time to a take bath
then out for breakfast



by bbw3n

study weeks+exam weeks

update update
i m here blogging again
due to gt bored in study

final exam for Y1S3 is coming soon
n i m here
to study last minutes
almost burn midnight oil everyday
sometime i feel tired
bt when lying on bed
i still cnt fall asleep
gt angry to myself

worry for this sem's subjects
especially research method
attend lecture
bt dunno what the lecturer talking about
end up with skip class
and nw
going to relearn again
everything start from zero

same situation with cognitive psy too
skip class more frequent start from week 10
and for the chapter that i absent the class
everything learn from zero
it take much time
for me to read n understand
due to no basic ideas about it

for the other subjects
i think same thing will happen to me
dunno yt
juz guess
coz nt yt start to study
tat all bcoz of
'PONTENG CLASS'

fish porridge today
mummy ask neighbour pass some fish to me
n i no need to eat biscuit
drink milo
cook maggie
ask for delivery
finally cn cook fish porridge
4 packs of fish
enough for me to eat before my holidays

study in the midnight
and gt hungry easily
dunno why
and my breakfast
honey stars + milk
yummy

the small notepad
it is cute
buy it at cherry house
when i out wif sis
it is cute
so i buy it
and it is useful

tired in study
bt i need to continue too
i need holidays
hope everything pass faster
n holidays come faster
i wan my home
i wan my bed
i wan shopping
i wan food

n the most important
i wan GOOD RESULTS too

GOD bless me

n my plan today
study till morning n go breakfast directly
after that juz back home sleep
hope i cn do it



by bbw3n

希望。是我想太多

最近
不知怎么了
总觉得
你对我的爱
你对我的关心
就是少了那么一点点

是我管你太多
绑得你太紧
让你喘不过气了
还是
你觉得
我烦了

那件事
不提了
过去了
回头看看
想想
其实
也没那么严重
再介意
再不忘记
严重的话
恐怕
我会失去你

你出去
我就是不问你去哪里
你到了没
通常
你会主动告诉我
这几天
不一样了

就像今天
你说跟朋友去喝茶
到了
你却没告诉我在哪里喝茶
最后
我忍不住
还是信息你了
抱歉
或许吵到你了
是你忘了信息我吗
还是我想太多了
嗯
希望吧
希望是你忘记
希望是我想太多

你看到的话
又会说我不告诉你
说我想太多
可是
我不知怎么开口
我就是这样觉得

我能感觉到
就连我们讲电话
除了我心情不好你安慰我之外
我们连要聊什么
都不知道

希望
是我想太多


by bbw3n

war again

finally
finished course registration for next sem
start from June 2011
i m Year 2 Sem 1 student in UTAR
congratulation to me
hopefully i can pass all subjects in this coming final exam

take bath n wash clothes
rain for a few days
today the bright sun is out
so i wash my clothes
11 something
prepare go to cyber cafe
for course registration
coz the internet line in my hostel
slow and suck
housemate fetch me out
wif jia ning & xiao kee
and having breakfast at Ghany 1st
long time din meal at Ghany
and hear one story about Ghany from xiao kee
no comment on it

meet up Elaine Grace Ken
and we go to cc together
get prepare to the war
it is tired
the line must be good
and ur motion must be fast enough
finally
cnt gt the timetable that i have plan before
bt it is ok
still satisfy with it
and Friday no class for me
wuhoo

after tat
go to lunch wif them
gossip wif my girls
Elaine..Grace..XiaoKee..JiaNing
and oso Grace's boy
Ken
we very kepo one
gossip a lot
haha

skip class today
so lazy go to campus since bar list was out
final exam coming soon
always tell myself should be start to study
and i have roughly look through
i found that
even i study 2 chapters for each subject each week
i cnt finished all chapters too
God bless on me
hope tat i can do well in final exam

+..мʏ ωιƨн ℓιƨтƨ..+

- do well in final exam -

- i wan RM200.00 -
addicted to on9 shopping
saw many clothes
and i m fall in love to some of them
it costs me RM190.00++
Mr./Mrs. Money
plz come to me


some photo to share

4 April 2011
take the train from BM back to kampar
saw this train
it was very high class
u cn enjoy ur meal as u r in western restaurant
and it oso contain bedroom in this train
the bedroom quite big
n it is romantic
it is from KL to Spore or Bangkok
all people inside were western people

one of the server inside the train
he is so cute
and he smile to me when i snap photo

went to Grand Kampar Hotel on 9 April
having dinner thr wif my sis
the foods
so so only
erm
i think
no second time for me to thr
haha

The End Of The Post



by bbw3n

our dating @ Ipoh

sad things have been past
and today
is a new day
sry babe
bring a lot of trouble to u
sry xx wong
i m nt angry at u at all

today
a new day
and a happy day for me
babe come meet me
and we goin to dating

7.30am
early in the morning
wake up babe
bt he din answer the phone
he wake up 8 something
and 9 something start his journal to kampar
bt he sms me at 10 something
tell me tat he juz out from house
i tot 12 something he juz reach
so sleep back
who knows
about 11 something
babe call me n tell me he wanna reach
and he at Gopeng Toll ald
scare me
i scold babe y drive so fast
finally
i know tat i gt cheat
babe wan to make me nervous
hmm...

after prepare myself
out wif babe
feel happy to see him
and he make me feel warm n secure
whenever beside him

we go to buy bus ticket
for my sis
and after tat head to Ipoh
having our brunch at De Garden
DAORAE KOREAN BBQ RESTAURANT
when we gt the menu
i m shock
and wanna walk out
the price is nt cheap
n the food nt so attarct me
bt babe say juz try it
this meal cost us RM100++
and for me the food so so only


PHOTO TIME


* on the way *

* my pale face without make up *

* my love driver+boss *

* only me in his eyes *

* DAORAE *

* my man..muacks *

* my babe's girl *

* my messy hair *

* before BBQ *

* BBQing *
all done by waiters thr
wat we need to do is just EAT *

* the foods *

* snap snap snap *
while waiting babe go toilet

* ignored me *
look ugly

after brunch
shopping at Jusco
eat green tae ice-cream
it is nice
and plan to have movie
bt it is full of people

walk around thr
and back to kampar at 4 something
go to Tesco
buy something
vege..fruits..milk..chicken..fishball and ...
after tat
when we going to leave
heavy rain outside
n we juz stay at KFC
hv some snacks n drinks

babe nw is on the way back to home
thanks babe to acc me
i m happy
i feel warm
and i love u
very very much
muacks



by bbw3n

mix emotions

i m back
back to Penang
back to my hometown
back to my sweet home
so happy
no need to think too much
juz enjoy my life at hometown

reach home on friday
pack some rice for babe
babe take some fruits to me
mummy wan it on saturday to pray
then ask babe fetch me to find friend
take my clothes that order from my friend

saturday
hang out wif babe at afternoon
head to Queensbay Mall first
have our brunch at Dragon-i
yeah
龙的传人
which i wanna go for a very long time

photo time
enjoy ya


on the way going to Queensbay Mall



at Dragon-i restaurant

Dragon-i

eating
the foods nt bad

babe eating laa mee

all about the foods

snap snap snap

Haagen-daz
my favourite

this time
we order chocolate foudue
it is nice

when we are eating

a small arguement between me n babe
when we are on the way go to auto-city
babe nt like shopping
n before go to auto city
we go to 1st Avenue
and juz having window shop thr
sry babe
i know u dun like hear this
bt i oso wan to say
sorry

after haagen-daz
babe fetch me go jusco meet my family
sis wanna buy formal wear at BeBe
bt the member card is in my purse

at nite
sad
we argue again
i hv nth cn do
skip
i dun wan to mention here
i juz need someone to listen to me
someone that i trust
i m suffer
keeping all those sad thing in heart
i wan to voice it out
but who i goin to tell to
i found that
there is nobody
since after form 6
i found that i cnt gt even 1 person to tell
cnt gt even 1 person to share my problem

i m helpless
who willing to hold my helpless hand
who willing to listen to my broken heart
who willing to swab my tears

hope everything will be fine soon

babe i love u
babe i miss u
babe i want u
babe i wan to be with u
every times
every seconds
every moments



by bbw3n